I was bad last week again. I am ashamed of myself. If I were a Vietnamese Monk I would probably be told I have to set myself on fire. That bad. Nonetheless, the opportunity is here to pack some wins on the board today.
Lions at Falcons: The Lions and Falcons both pieced together their most complete games last week. This is a game which I would truly consider to be a coin toss. I’m going with Atlanta at home.
Browns at Bengals: If Baker loses this game in a poor performance, we’ll be listening to the masses calling for a new QB to step in. I think the Browns will win today behind a running attack that feeds Kareem Hunt A LOT. Browns on the road.
Steelers at Titans: One of these teams will be vaulted to the next level after this game. I just trust the Steelers defense more than I trust the Titans defense. Give me Big Ben on the road. Side note, good thing that city is shut down because Ben would run amuck through Nashville.
Panthers at Saints: I just don’t buy into the Saints. Mark me down for thinking they are frauds. I’m so bullish on thinking they are frauds that I will go against my better judgement and take Theodore Bridgewater on the road.
Bills at Jets: Sammy Darnold is back just in time to lose to the Bills. Also, NFL if you ever put the Jets in a 4pm time slot again you’re going to cause me to take another late nap which will effect my sleep like it did last Sunday. Shame on you.
Cowboys at Washington: Andy Dalton, confirmed to not be as good as Dak. Such a moronic take to begin with, but the dumb talking heads tried to spin it that way anyway. Maybe they need to apply stickum’ to Zeke’s exposed gut. Washington needs to figure out what the hell they wanted to do with Haskins, Allen and Smith. Personally, I would have kept going with Haskins. I’m tempted to roll with the Football Team, but I’ll go Cowboys on the road.
Packers at Texans: The Texans just play a tough game every week. A game with the Packers would be tough normally, but throw in there that they were embarrassed basically in a semi-prime time game adds fuel to the fire. I’ll take the Packers on the road, but Watson has a solid day.
Bucs at Raiders: The Pirate based teams clash in a swashbuckling adventure that Jerry Bruckheimer would be creaming his pants to produce a movie about. Can the Bucs continue to remember to utilize Gronk like the weapon that he still is? Can they recognize that Ronald Jones is a legit back? I gotta think so because that is what is going to keep propelling this team forward.
Chiefs at Broncos: The Denver McManus’ had a great game kicking their way to victory in New England. I don’t think that’ll work against the best offensive talents in the league. Andy in the Mile High city. Get that man some oxygen and a meatloaf platter after a win.
49ers at Patriots: This is earmarked as the game that will show that the Patriots are starting to fully fall from contender status in their division. Which is why I feel that this is the perfect spot to pick them in. Patriots win an ugly game by both offenses.
Jaguars at Chargers: I’m a Justin Herbert stan. I think it gets forgotten how good of a player he was coming out of college. He was the most pro ready QB behind Burrow. I know that’s not a take quake, but it’s a fact. I think he has another solid afternoon with a win through the air at home against a floundering Jags.
Seahawks at Cardinals: Kyler Murray’s feet move so fast when he’s running to the corner. It’s mesmerizing. The best thing he can do for himself is to look across the field and emulate everything that Wilson does as a QB. I like the Cards to hand Seattle their first loss of the year.
Bears at Rams: When are the wheels going to fall off here for the Bears? It doesn’t make sense how they have a 5-1 record, but I wouldn’t be apologizing for it if I’m a Bears fan. The Rams are not elite, but they are not bad. They just exist. I do like them enough to win at home on MNF.
Parlay of the week: Steelers ML, GB -3.5 and Dallas -3.