We’re coming off a respectable 9-3 picks week, excluding the Eagles which we are 0-2 like the turd bomber team. Let’s take a look at the board and figure out how its gonna shake out this week
Bears at Falcons: Well, the Atlanta Falcons may have hit a new rock bottom. That includes what they did in Super Bowl 51. I could not imagine rooting for a team that has a head coach that wouldn’t have their hands team pick up a live ball. The most frustrating part for them is that they are getting what they need out of the offense right now. Old Mitch Trubisky is holding onto his job right now by playing a hot hand. This is either going to be a great game or a stink bowl. I’m going Falcons 27 Bears 24
Rams at Bills: Is Josh Allen going to fuck around and be an MVP candidate? Through two games it sure looks like it. The addition of Diggs has propelled him forward. The Rams offensive gameplan dropped a hot turd on Jim Schwart’z salt and pepper hair last week. They are going to have a tougher matchup this week. I like the Bills at home, 24-21.
Football Team at Browns: Every time we think that the Browns are going to take the next step forward, they tend to take two backward. I don’t see that being the case tomorrow. I like them to take care of Washington at home. Browns 31 Washington 14.
Titans at Vikings: Do the Vikings stink? I think they stink out loud if I’m being honest. They got run over by Jonathan Taylor (what up Salem County). I think that they are going to get steamrolled by Derrick Henry. Give me the Titans on the road, 28-14.
Raiders at Patriots: The OAK….EGASSSS RAIDERRRRRRS outclassed the Saints last week. Could it be because Drew Brees arm is like a flaccid penis? Possibly. Or could Gru-Dawg have this ship turned in the right direction. I like to think Gruden has it going. Speaking of having it going, Cam Newton has been reborn. Who would’ve thought that the most physically gifted QB in the NFL was still good? Give me Bill and Cam at home on a short week for Vegas. Pats 34 Raiders 23.
49ers at Giants: The 49ers are claiming to be the most injury plagued team in recent history. I’d like to introduce them to the Philadelphia Eagles for the past 10 years. No Jimmy G, No Kittle, no win. Giants at home in an “upset” 21-14.
Texans at Steelers: Is Big Ben the better QB heading into this matchup. If the past two weeks are an indication then the answer is yes. I love the Steelers at home in this one. I think it will be a tight one, but Big Ben beats this defensive secondary of Houston. Steelers 27 Texans 24.
Jets at Colts: Adam Gase might be the least qualified human being to be an NFL coach than anyone I have ever seen. He’s a lunatic and a sitting duck. Phillip Rivers should do his best impression of last week and keep handing the ball off until the score is insurmountable. Colts roll again 31-13.
Panthers at Chargers: Dolphins fans should be nervous after watching Herbert last week. He looks big and strong at the QB position. If Tua never becomes fully healthy than it will be a shot in the shorts of Miami. No CMC is going to be tough to overcome. Give me Herbert for his first win, Chargers 28 Panthers 13.
Bucs at Broncos: Brady got on the board with a win last week. He now has to face the BOAT Blake Bortles in a matchup in the mile high city. Gronk would be better off being high right now as opposed to putting up any statistics. He is really struggling to get targetted in a full house offense. Brady sails past the BOAT, 33-16.
Lions at Cardinals: Sign me up on the Kyler Murray hype train. He appears to be every bit as good as advertised when he was selected 1-1 last year. The Lions are stumbling out of the gate a bit, but have also not had their best player in Kenny Golladay. I think the Lions are too talented to go 0-3, so here is my upset of the week. Lions 24 Cards 20.
Cowboys at Seahawks: Nothing was worse than the Falcons giving Dallas life. They would have eaten themselves alive if they got blown out as they should have last week. Instead they got a win and Dak lined his pockets more. The Seahawks are being lead by the league MVP through 2 weeks. Wilson is launching himself into the conversation of Top 10 QB all time. I’ve never seen one be as athletic and as smart as he is. Seattle continues to roll over a shaky Cowboys defense, 37-28.
Packers at Saints: Why are the Saints favored in this game? I don’t care that it is at home. Green Bay is just the better team here. Night game in New Orleans does not slap as much without fans being there. Green Bay is getting huge numbers from Jones and typical Aaron Rodgers performances. I think we’re on a collision course for a GB vs Seattle NFC Championship game. Packers on the road 31-27.
Chiefs at Ravens: The Mona Lisa of the weekend. The two best teams in the AFC face off against each other on Monday Night Football. KC was a little shaky last week against the Chargers. Can Mahomes be held down again this week? I can’t wait to watch the two best young QBs in the game on the biggest stage. I’m going with the Andy-Lorian and the Chiefs on the road in this one in a shootout, 42-38.