A power ranking of spring breakers I’d like to fight

I’m sure most people have seen this video by now. Just complete morons on spring break who are complaining that their trip is ruined while people are dying. The video shows a lack of awareness, empathy and good parenting. I’d like to take some time to recognize these morons individually in a power ranking of which ones are the worst human beings.

6. New Orleans girl

Listen she is gonna get a pass because of that straw hat. However, why the hell does it matter that she’s from New Orleans? I’m gonna start prefacing bad news by saying “It sucks and I’m from South Jersey.” She does look like she would have been a good time to party with if there wasn’t an infectious disease that is killing people around the world.

5. Karate boy

I ranked “Bryson” so low because I’m not sure if there is something wrong with him or not. Looks like he wore his childhood karate gear to spring break so we could be cooking with gas on that theory. Bryson also is one of the only dumb dumb’s who didn’t say that he deserved a refund or that his life was ruined because of it.

4. Fat Albert Crew Member

Come on, Atlantis! Had to ruin having a sweet ass name by being a dummy. You do not deserves a refund. You deserves a Rock Bottom from Dwayne Johnson himself. Atlantis is definitely one of the highest human beings on Earth at the time of this video being taken. I’m surprised he had any idea what was going on in the world because that man is on Mars. It’s not a serious virus until some germs get caught in that terrible facial hair.

3. Punchable face girl

If I can get New Orleans girl to come to her senses, my first suggestion for her will be to punch this moon face right in her pie hole. Listen people, we don’t need a vaccine for the virus, we need this girl to get drunk before everything closes. Some poor kid is going to marry her someday and it will lead to her biting him with one of those fangs.

Tied for First: Dumb and Dumber

These two deserve each other. Both red faced from the sun and too much Twisted Tea. Brianna feels that this is really messing up her spring break. When we write this time period in history books, don’t mention the deaths being the worst parts, just tell the story of how Brianna lost her spring break. The man standing behind her appears to be laughing at what an idiot she is. She is the poster child of a privileged child. This also brings us to Brady. I haven’t cheered for Coronavirus during this entire ordeal. However, I’d get a COVID-19 jersey if it taught this kid a lesson. I’m not talking about death people. I’m saying Brady needs to be quarantined from the world for awhile to learn some values about life. Someone shove that backwards hat up his ass please.

Side note, if you’re allowing your kid to go to spring break during this time, you are part of the problem.

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