The world without sports

Song to set the mood

The coronavirus has quickly ripped throughout the world and left a trail of illness and in some cases death. It sucks. We (people smarter than me) don’t have a way of containing the problem right now and do not have a rock-solid cure either. Hopefully, most people are getting ready to work from home and schools are closed to expedite the process of slowing down the spread. One of the casualties that the virus has taken is sports. The cancellation of sports and the infection of Tom Hanks stopped me dead in my tracks. For God’s sake, Woody has it.

I’m ready to do what it takes to make sure this problem goes away, but how are we going to survive our self-initiated quarantines without sports? If you told me I was bound to my house for two months with nothing to do except watch sports, I’d say sign me up. However, we are left with fighting through this without the comfort of watching our favorite teams. Of course, this happens during one of the best stretches the Flyers have had in 20 years. We need a way to pass the time until this passes over. I’d like to take a look at what we can do to pass the time without sports.

  1. Read a book:

I don’t want to read any books, but I guess it would really help pass the time. My brain never fully formed into a mature adult so the thought of doing this just sounds like a fart in my head. Is there any books that would play out the entirety of the 2020 NCAA Basketball Tournament? I’d read that and send my bets in.

2. Livestream amateur sporting events: I think one of the better ideas that has been proposed to me by a good friend is the streaming of average adults playing sports. I would love feeling the rush of placing a hefty wager on grown men or women playing knee hockey in a basement. Some Wiffle Ball in a backyard with people wearing the MLB jerseys to give you that Opening Day feeling that we all need. Maybe set the hoop up in the driveway and get a game of 1v1 going. We can get any crowd to watch something if you stream it and set odds for winnings.

3. Home repairs/upgrades: Guys, now is the time to get any home repairs done. I fear doing any work around the house on weekends because I may miss a game. Now we have no excuse. Just get it all done with in one shot. I (my wife in reality) plan on painting the entire house with the time we have here. Can you imagine going into NBA/NHL postseasons without having any chores hanging over your head? Glorious.

4. Pick a new hobby: I think everyone of us can pick up a new hobby for some fun. The hard part is picking the new hobby. I’m not patient or skilled enough to do most adult hobbies. That’s why I watch sports. I’m not creative enough to take on painting or drawing. I guess the very blog I’m writing is a hobby. Alright, well now I guess I’ve checked one thing off my list.

5. Hazmat suit fighting ring: Hear me out. I get a bunch of hazmat suits, a boxing ring and people fight. It’s safe because there will be no direct body contact and the risk of passing the virus is very low. The only rule in this fight club is that if you cheat we take your suit off and you get coughed on as punishment.

6. Pet your dog: This is probably the only thing I’ll do without sports. Dogs are the best. Here’s my dog for your enjoyment.

No matter how we slice and dice it, this time period is going to suck for a multitude of reasons. The only thing that we can hope for is that it goes by quickly and that people stay healthy. Sports will always be there when the world is ready for it to be back. It will be a great day for us all when it gets back to us. In the meantime, just stay safe. Here is a sad song to listen to when you are thinking about sports during your quarantine days.

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